BuiltWithNOF

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Humour
  • Thought you would like to see the notice that British Airways sent to its
    pilots explaining what we in the US refer to as the "monitored approach"
    method where on an approach to very low visibility and ceiling one pilot
    flies the approach and when the other pilot sees the runway he takes the
    plane and lands.
    This removes the problem of the pilot having to make the transition from
    flying instruments and at the last minute looking outside and getting his
    bearings" as the other pilot is already "outside". If the pilot not
    flying says nothing by the time they reach "minimums", the pilot flying
    automatically starts the "go-around" procedure as he is still on
    the instruments.
    Now try this actual explanation of this procedure from the British Airways
    manual:
    ===========================
  • *** British Airways Flight Operations Department Notice ***
    There appears to be some confusion over the new pilot role titles.
    This notice will hopefully clear up any misunderstandings. The titles P1,
    P2, and Co-Pilot will now cease to have any meaning, within the BA
    operations manuals. They are to be replaced by
    Handling Pilot,
    Non-handling Pilot,
    Handling Landing Pilot,
    Non-Handling Landing Pilot,
    Handling Non-Landing Pilot, and
    Non Handling Non-Landing Pilot.
    The Landing Pilot, is initially the Handling Pilot and will handle the
    take-off and landing except in role reversal when he is the Non-Handling
    Pilot for taxi until the Handling Non-Landing Pilot, hands the handling to
    the Landing Pilot at eighty knots. The Non-Landing (Non-Handling,
    since the Landing Pilot is handling) Pilot reads the checklist to the
    Handling Pilot until after Before Descent Checklist completion, when the
    Handling Landing Pilot hands the handling to the Non-Handling Non-Landing
    Pilot who then becomes the Handling Non-Landing Pilot.
    The Landing Pilot is the Non-Handling Pilot until the "decision altitude"
    call, when the Handling Non-Landing Pilot hands the handling to the
    Non-Handling Landing Pilot, unless the latter calls "go-around", in which
    case the Handling Non-Landing Pilot, continues Handling and the
    Non-Handling Landing Pilot continues non-handling until the next call of
    "land" or "go-around", as appropriate.
    In view of the recent confusion over these rules, it was deemed necessary
    to restate them clearly.

So, Monty Python lives on in BA?--

 

Rules of the Air

1. Every take-off is optional, every landing is mandatory

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying is not dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous!

4
. High speeds are not dangerous. Coming to a sudden stop is dangerous!

5. It is always better to be down here, wishing you were up there, than up there wishing to be down here!

6. The only time you have too much fuel on board, is when you are on fire.

7
. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the airplane, used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

8. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

9. A "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. A "great" landing is one after which they can use the airplane again.

10
. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

11. You know you have landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

12. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

13
. Never let an aircraft get you somewhere your brain didn't get five minutes earlier.

14. Stay out of the clouds. The silver lining everybody keeps talking about, might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

15. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you have made.

16
. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

17. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience, before you empty your bag of luck.

18. Helicopters can't fly. They are just so ugly the earth repels them.

19
. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round, and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not as they should be.

20. In the ongoing battle between airplanes going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to loose.

21. Good judgement comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgement.

22
. It is always a good idea to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible.

23. Keep looking around. There is always something you've missed.

24. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It is the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

25
. The four most useless things to a pilot are altitude above you, runway behind you, air in the fuel tank and a tenth of a second ago.

26. Lastly, always check the runway number; then double check!
 

An Aviator's Words of Wisdom
'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'
- Infantry Journal -


'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'
- US.Air Force Manual -


'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'
- General MacArthur -


'Tracers work both ways.'
- Army Ordnance Manual -


'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'
- Infantry Journal -


'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'
- Naval Ops Manual -


'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'
- Unknown Infantry Recruit-


'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.'
- Infantry Journal-


'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'
- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-


'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'
- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot) -


'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'
- Unknown Author -


'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'
- Fixed Wing Pilot -


'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'
- Multi-Engine Training Manual -


'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'
- Unknown Author -


'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'
If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'
- Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot -


'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but if ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'
- Sign over Control Tower Door -


'Never trade luck for skill.'
- Author Unknown -


The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and 'Oh S...!'
- Authors Unknown -


'Airspeed, altitude and brains... Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'
- Basic Flight Training Manual -


'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'
- Emergency Checklist -


'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.'
- Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot) -


'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'
- Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB , AZ -


'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'
- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -


As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees the bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?'

The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'

How To Groundloop Your Taildragger
>
> Judging by how frequently it is performed, the Groundloop is indeed a popular maneuver. The Groundloop is an extreme low-level figure that is highly acrobatic in nature, which may be executed in many exciting variations. It is customarily performed as the last figure in a sequence, but I have seen the Groundloop attempted as a preliminary or warm-up maneuver.
>
> It is rarely scored however, because it is most often performed out of the Judgesí line-of-sight. Also, the Groundloop is categorized as a surprise maneuver, and therefore nobody is really prepared when it is executed. In fact, the figure is not considered genuine unless Judges, spectators and the pilot-in-command are all surprised! The many interesting and dynamic variations do not have a Degree of Difficulty or ďKĒ attached, but rather are rated on the International HC* scale. *Holy Cow.
>
> HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE
>
> The Groundloop is one of the earliest recorded aerobatic figures. It was performed on virtually all of the taildraggers dating back to Aviationís infancy. The maneuver really came into its own during the Golden Era of the Groundloop which was when the cross-wind landing was invented. Previous to this, circular landing fields were the norm and the pilot simply eye-balled the windsock, and landed into wind. However, it was soon discovered that a short, straight landing strip could be plowed out, and now there would be lots of room for hangars, clubhouse, and an expansive cocktail lounge. Once everyone saw how much fun this new land-use concept generated, it was adopted internationally. The daily Groundloop displays were an instant hit, and helped cast the new idea in tarmac.
>
> ANALYSIS
>
> Most Groundloops are weathercocking related phenomena. This means that at least one main wheel must be touching the earth, and a wind is blowing. Traditionally, the maneuver is started in a cross-wind; during the landing roll-out the tail is allowed to be blown down-wind. At this point there are a variety of options that can be exercised depending on your inputs, and the maneuver can take off in almost any direction, and finish in a variety of attitudes. Groundloops that occur under calm conditions are more rare, and require vigorous control inputs, so you really have to work at it to get a decent one.
>
> Groundloops can be generated anywhere from 5MPH to flying speed. When executed at high speed, the figure covers more territory and generally spawns the most interesting variations.
>
> High-wing taildraggers probably Ground loop the best because the upwind wing is more exposed to the breeze. The high-wing also enjoys a longer arm to really accelerate things once the maneuver starts. If the airplane is designed with the wheels forming a small triangle (short-coupled), and in the hands of the right pilot, this could be a Groundlooping champion.
>
> ESSENTIAL BACKGROUND KNOWLEDGE
>
> Avoid the study of the following subjects: a) Cross-wind Landings and Take-offs. b) Ground-Handling in winds.
>
> Avoid seeking instruction on these subjects, for it will greatly reduce your chances of producing a truly World-Class Groundloop. Also, you might want to have a good line ready in case someone raises one of these subjects in conversation: ďCross-wind Landings, heck, wasnít that about lesson 5 on your Private License? Iím way beyond that.
>
> PREPARATION - To be successful, we must prepare both pilot and aircraft.
>
> PILOT - To perform good Groundloops, the best preparation is no preparation.
>
> AIRCRAFT - The aircraft can be prepared in a variety of ways to ensure consistently good Groundloops. First of all, the main wheels should be shimmed to a toe-in condition. If the wheels are adjusted to track straight ahead or are shimmed slightly toe-out, the tracking will be too stable to assist your attempts at Groundlooping. Keep the tire pressures different from one another. If you know the direction of the cross-wind, reduce the pressure on the up-wind tire before going flying. And remember, it isnít necessary to change the tires until you can see the second ply of fabric showing; a blow-out can be the start of a dazzling Groundloop.
>
> Avoid the hassle of taking off those trouble some wheel-pants by putting a drop of Loc-tite on the screws. Now you have a good excuse not to inspect the brakes. So, when the brake fails on one side or the caliper pinches through a rusted disc, you will enjoy a splendid Groundloop.
>
> At the back end, you can start by loosening the fitting that holds the tail-wheel spring to the fuselage. Just back the nuts off a few turns. Also back off the nut that attaches the tail-wheel casting to the spring. Now, slack off the steering springs a couple of links so the chains sag. And while youíre at it, cut off that lock wire that some conscientious Engineer installed in case the chains break. From time to time they break on landing and produce a thrilling, and rakish Cramer-like lurch. Fantastic! These simple mods will produce a delightfully loose rear-end that feels like itís on ball-bearings.
>
> The little tail-wheel is best left alone; over time it becomes worn into an interesting cone-shape by the effects of slipstream, P-factor and gyroscopic effect. These left-turning forces create more wear on the starboard side of the tire, and soon you have a beautifully unstable little demon back there to really help you out.
>
> Install the push-to-talk switch in a remote area of the cockpit. When the tower talks to you on the roll-out, you can look down into the cockpit to locate the button, and when you look up, you may be treated to the wonderful green-and-blue kaleidoscope of rotation about the vertical axis.
>
> TECHNIQUE (HOW-TO)
>
> Once the pilot and aircraft are prepared, itís a little like shooting fish in a barrel; thereís really nothing to it. There are several things you can do to get the Groundloop going, but really the best thing to do is nothing. Just let it happen. If you are landing or fast-taxiing in a cross-wind and you want a Groundloop... you guessed it- do nothing.
>
> Taxi with abandon. As a pilot, you are a free-spirited individual, and this can be best displayed by a carefree jaunt down the taxiway. Just let go of the stick and use the hands-free time to organize your maps and sequence cards. If the tail-wheel comes off the ground, youíre going a little fast. Maybe youíll want to use the time to put on your seatbelt, polish the inside of the canopy, re-tie your shoelaces or perhaps light up a smoke. Taildraggers have the right-of-way, so you wonít have to stop suddenly.
>
> When cleared for take-off, start bringing the power up as you swing out on to the runway Of course youíll want to shove the stick forward quickly to get that tail up (you canít get it up too soon). If the plane will fly at 50, hold it on until 65. This technique spreads out the landing gear and brushes off some rubber, but everybody does it and it looks cool. If you get rolling quickly, any cross-wind wonít matter. Now rotate as you would a 767. Haul straight back and blaze into the blue.
>
> On the approach, keep it low and fast. If the airplane lands at 50, cross the fence at 100. Itís best not to have a planned touchdown point because that can interfere with the free-spirited nature of the flying event. Start fanning the rudders through 500 feet, and keep it going until youíve cleared the runway. The fanning technique is to let the airplane know whoís boss. Get the plane down to the runway as soon as possible, and force it to land with plenty of forward stick. The fast-landing method is good for all weather conditions, especially quartering tail-winds. Once the plane is firmly on the ground, let go of the stick, but keep fanning the rudder to cool the tail-wheel assembly. Taxi in as you taxied out.
>
> VARIATIONS
>
> 45-Degree Overland Express - This one is best done at about 40 MPH. The airplane is allowed to weathercock slightly, the upwind wing and wheel are allowed to rise about 30 degrees and the plane swings into wind. At 45 degrees off the runway heading, sharp downwind brake, full aft stick and aileron into wind are added to stop the Groundloop. The plane is now headed off overland. This is useful for taking a short-cut to the washrooms after a long flight.
>
> 90-Degree Quick Turn with Prop Curl - Use the same technique as above, except at about 20 MPH. When you stomp on the downwind brake, also shove the stick forward. Even though you are traveling slower, the gyroscopic effect of shoving the stick forward will give you that extra 45 degrees of rotation. The tail will rise briskly. As soon as the prop touches the runway, pull hard back on the stick and apply both brakes. This was how the original Q-Tip Propeller was invented. If youíve done it just right, youíll probably have a much more efficient prop.
>
> The Prop Curl can also be done straight ahead. Taxi at about 10 MPH while tucking in your shirt or cleaning your sunglasses. Keep your hands off the stick and slam on the brakes. Voila! Also try this while maneuvering the tail-wheel over an obstacle. For a more dramatic Curl, hold the stick forward and add a burst of power.
>
> Pitts Special Twin Arcs - Start the Groundloop from the roll-out at about 25 MPH. Remove all cross-wind inputs and allow the airplane to weathercock. Move the stick forward to at least neutral to lighten the tail-wheel and reduce its directional control. The little biplane will rise up on the downwind wheel and begin a concise pirouette. The downwind wing-tip will hit the runway and begin scribing an arc of red butyrate, Dacron and plywood. Without hesitation slam in full upwind aileron, as if to attempt to lift the lower wing. The downwind aileron will shoot down and describe a beautiful red arc parallel to that made by the wing-tip. Pull the stick full back, push full downwind brake with full rudder and a burst of power to erect the plane. These little red arcs are very artistic and will attract a good crowd in the evening following the days flying.
>
> 180-Degree Pirouette with back-track - This one is best attempted in a light high-wing with narrow bungee landing gear, a Cub will do. The maneuver works best in a quartering tail-wind. This figure looks difficult, but is really pretty simple. It works best if the pilot does not interfere.
>
> Get the weather-cocking started in the usual manner. Move aileron out-of-wind and push the stick forward to get weight off the tail. 20 MPH is fine. As the up-wind wing rises, the center of gravity swings as a pendulum toward the lower wing. About the time the down-going wing smacks the runway, the center of gravity will have swung to the outside of the downwind wheel. Apply this brake hard. Now itís as if you had two upwind wheels because the center of gravity has migrated outside via centrifugal force. So now it wouldnít matter which brake you applied, the effect would be to increase the rotation of the Groundloop.
>

> The wing-tip smacks off the tarmac, the brake completed a full 180-degree turn, and fast-taxi back to the button.
>
> Groundloop with Bunt. - This is certainly one of the more dramatic figures in the Groundloop family. Youíll want to be traveling a little faster to get this one. Say 35 MPH. The figure should start slowly then get faster and tighter as rotation sets in. A dry runway is necessary, and a quartering tail-wind from the left is best. Once rotation starts, shove in full down-wind stick and full forward elevator. This will really tighten up the rotation. Now add full brakes and full power. The tail will shoot upwards and the airplane will do a kind of shoulder roll right on to its back. This is really low-level inverted, and you should ensure that your belts are very tight. This figure should be reserved for the last flight of the day.
>
> CONCLUSION
>
> The Groundloop has been around for almost a century and Iím sure it will be with us forever. And to keep it alive, all we have to do is be a little complacent, a little cock-sure and in a little hurry. Most important, one needs a thorough misunderstanding of weathercocking, cross-wind take-offs, landings and ground-handling. Sounds pretty easy to me.
 

 

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